Drink like a Kennedy

The beer bottle blaster lets you drink a beer in three seconds. Why anyone not at a fraternity party would want to do that is anyone's guess, but if you do, the opportunity is there.

NFL going back to L.A.

The NFL has reached a deal to return a team to Los Angeles.

Wish upon a Web page

This site lets you make an anonymous wish. There's no point really, but it's sort of fun to see what people wish for.

Why not Apache Chief?

The Army has begun working on a way to gives its troops Aquaman style gills that would allow them to breathe underwater. This should be a great asset in our coming war against the whale people.

Prehistoric crocodile discovered

It had flippers, serrated teeth and a massive skull. The scientists believe it might be related to John Tesh.

More sex on TV

A study shows that the number of sex scenes on TV have doubled since 1998. Unfortunately, many of those scenes co-starred Dennis Franz.

XM might help you find a parking spot

Who knew that there was something called "dynamic parking information" and that you could access it through your radio? Still, XM could find you pretty much anything and it won't make you forget that they don't have Howard Stern.

Nothing intelligent about it

A Kansas school board has approved a curriculum that casts doubt on the theory of evolution in favor of the religious nonsense known as intelligent design.

Down for the count

Vitali Klitschko, probably the most recognizable of the myriad of heavyweight champions has retired due to a knee injury. This paves the way for Butterbean to begin his comeback and make a run at the title.

Scientists say women like humor more than men do

This might explain why Nikki Cox married Bobcat Goldthwait. It also explains why science hasn't cured any diseases in a while.

Jenny I've got your number

Tired of losing all your contacts every time your cell phone craps out? This article has a list of possible solutions that sort of work.

Ugie still can't get the out

Phillies pitcher Ugeth Urbina was arrested for attempted murder after allegedly attacking some employees at his home with a machete, pouring gasoline on them and attempting to set them on fire.

Take an aspirin already

Aspirin, which already lessens your chances of having a heart attack also protects you from skin cancer.

Eagles send Owens home

Apparently he crossed onto the wrong side of the asshole to touchdowns ratio.

Watch "Joey" whenever you want

NBC and CBS have unveiled plans to make certain shows available for "on demand" viewing for $.99. Now, if only CBS had any shows people might watch...

At least the buffet was good

Passengers on a cruise ship recount their harrowing escape from pirates, unfortunately, the passengers were unable to get away from Kathie Lee Gifford's shipboard production of Carousel.

Take this job and...

Netscape has a list of people's top ten reasons to quit their jobs and surprisingly "office coffee not very good" doesn't make the list.

Study proves teenagers are impressionable

A recently completed study shows that 40% of teenagers try cigarettes because they see people smoking in movies. Unfortunately, at least for Orlando Bloom, none of them saw any part of the movie "Elizabethtown."