50 Cent billboards taken down

Apparently a whole lot of activists just learned that rap music can get a little violent. Next they'll discover that country music promotes drinking.

Better than beer

Take your beer a little further by trying some beer cocktails. Be a little more upscale than drinking Coors in a can without having to try some pink frothy thing.

A PDA for your heart

Implant this device in your heart and your doctor can track your heart failure on a Palm Pilot. Of course, he can also play solitaire on that same Palm Pilot, so you better get a doctor who likes you.

Illiterate in two languages

Apparently reading doesn't fall under the category of things every guy should know --at least not NHL coaches/GMs...

Caught in the act

Scientists have discovered two fossils fused together in a sexual position for 65 million years. Once discovered, the female fossil told the scientists she had been "faking it."

He's got stroke

Jeff Jarrett, who did the "How to Win a Fight" chapter in 50 Things Every Guy Should Know How To Do tries to regain the NWA Heavyweight Title on TNA wrestling's first prime time special tonight at 9 on Spike TV.

It's still golf

The PGA plans a NASCAR style playoff for 2007.

We're still not watching

Tyra Banks went undercover as an obese woman for an upcoming episode of her low-rated TV show. Banks, who will do anything short of lighting herself on fire to keep her series afloat, plans a future episode on attaining a beautiful booty where she intends to reveal what she called her "dimpled butt."

D'Oh yeah

Electronic Arts has signed an exclusive license to bring "The Simpsons" to the next generation of video game systems including XBox 360 and Playstation III.

Goooooooooaaaaalllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!

ABC and ESPN have spent $100 million to secure rights to the World Cup. In a related story, I've just spent $11.50 to wrest control of MLS rights away from a homeless guy who owns a video camera.

Chief Justice Mario Lopez has a nice ring to it

Check out my piece on revamping how we pick Supreme Court nominees over on freeopeds.com.

Computers for hicks

Wal-Mart has plans for a $398 H-P laptop just in time for the Christmas season. Usually, we'd follow this with some sort of joke about the people who shop at Wal-Mart, but $398 for a laptop, even a pretty crappy one, might have us standing in line behind them (which would cause a dramatic rise in the number of teeth present at that particular store).

How the mighty have fallen

Christian Slater was unhurt after falling off Paris Hilton's roof. Slater's career, however, remains on life support.

I'm voting for Jimmy Smits

Sunday's live debate on "The West Wing" should draw more viewers than any actual presidential debate in recent years. Perhaps Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda would consider running for real in 2008. They can't possibly do a worse job than Bush, plus all of Alda's experiences in the Korean War would be a real asset in getting us out of Iraq.

Just a little overrated

Bill Simmons tries to calm Boston down about the loss of Theo Epstein.

Overplayed equals fascinating

Barbara Walters, the least fascinating person on TV, has released her list of fascinating people of 2005. The list includes such overexposed celebs as Tom Cruise, Teri Hatcher and the never interesting, always wooden, Condoleezza Rice.

Look me straight in the stomach

Forget looking someone on the eyes to tell if they're lying, researchers have discovered that chnages inside the stomach serve as a telltale sign someone is lying. This should make police interrogations a whole lot more interesting.

Not just for babies anymore

Why let your kid have all the fun when you kid be pushing your pet around in his very own stroller?

Theo leaving Red Sox

After breaking 80-something years of futility, why not let the man who engineered it all walk away? Perhaps they can get Dan Duquette back?

Forget the 360, try the 2600

River Raid was by far the best Atari 2600 game, a fact proven even more by its inclusion on the Flashback 2.0 -- a video game system with 40 built-in Atari 2600 games. The Flashback features the original one button controller with the black plastic that you had to take off to win the races in Summer Games.

Eat more bacon

Why diet when $1,300 buys you a home defibrillator? They should package these things with one of those home fryalators and cut out the middleman.

Apparently there are easy answers

This Slate column offers answers to news questions like. "How do you fire a New York Times reporter?" One recent column explains how England plans to lure millions of birds into a deathtrap to stop bird flu, which we don't recommend you try at home.

Netflix through the 'net

The long-rumored Netflix Internet download service appears a little closer to reality. I'd sell that Blockbuster stock if you have any left.

Saw II crushes Zorro, Weatherman

Surprisingly, Nic Cage playing a TV weatherman didn't pack them in at the theaters and nobody wants to see Antonio Banderas in a sequel to a movie we barely remember. Maybe it's time for Cage and Banderas to take a little hiatus when they get trounced by a movie starring Donnie Wahlberg and some sort of Puppet.

Welcome back

Watching Tedy Bruschi make that first defensive stop was one of those end of Rocky III, can't stop the tears moments. He may not single-handedly send the Patriots back to the Super Bowl, but if he did, he goes right next to Lance Armstrong on the list of greatest comeback stories ever.

Pick up another bad habit

Send these folks $29.95 every month and they'll send you five quality cigars. They'll also send you a newsletter telling you about why each cigar was picked so you can sound like an expert when you're puffing away on a Cohiba while your buddies smoke cigarillos they bought at 7-11.

Samsung takes on iTunes

Samsung has announced plans to create a music service like Apple's iTunes. Analysts speculate that many Apple opponents could join Samsung's efforts.

Roger Moore loses another gig

Sean Connery will once again play James Bond in the videogame version of "From Russia With Love." In other Bond news, Timothy Dalton will be playing Rum Tum Tugger at a dinner theater performance of "Cats" in Davenport, IA.